Chuck Norris Approved

Just a quick post tonight to officially make the change I've been contemplating for a few months now.  Yes, I'm officially changing one of my Operation 30 items.  Why?  Because in hindsight I realize this one wasn't really something that I should have set out to accomplish in less than a year and a half.  Which one am I changing?  #20. Sit on the Board of an Organization I'm passionate about.

While I'm not scratching this as a life bucket list item, I recognize that it will take longer to establish myself in the two organizations I've chosen to commit myself to:  Young Friends of Children's Hospital and Young Variety.  (Both are charities that dedicate themselves to sick and mentally or physically challenged children, which I'm excited to try to do my part and make a positive difference in supporting.)  

Sure, I could have scrambled to find an organization that would have let me sit on their Board simply to be able to check this one off my list, but I feel that would have been missing the point of why I originally put this one on my list in the first place.  For me this one is all about being in a position to make a positive difference in an organization whose values and mission support those less fortunate than me.  I can't begin to imagine what having a serious illness or disability must be like for the children and families who have to deal with it everyday.  So any time spent as a volunteer to help plan events that support such people feels like an extremely worthwhile effort and something I already have a lot of enthusiasm to do.  (So maybe look for this one on a rumored Operation 40 Before 40 list.)

What am I replacing as #20?  After much consideration (and bouncing this off more than a few friends), I've landed on something that I've always wanted to do but never really taken the time to learn.  Here it is (*insert drumroll sound effect):

#20.  Learn how to french brain my own hair

 TA DA!  (*Insert game show consolation music, as I know this lacks a certain pizzazz quality in comparison.)  BUT - I have to say that I'm extremely excited to take this on (with the help of YouTube), and develop a practical skill in the process.  I've been growing my hair out for about a year now, so it's finally starting to get to a good length to be able to do a lot with it, which is exciting.  Granted, I'm the furthest thing from a hair pro, but would love to be able to do more than my standard side low braid that's become a part of my regular hair rotation.  

So there it is.  I changed my list.  The good news is that I ran it by the Operation 30 Steering Committee first (me, myself and I), who gave it universal approval.  I have no qualms about the change, but wanted to formally blog about the rationale behind my decision rather than simply changing it under the radar.  

Oh, and if approval by the Steering Committee isn't enough for some of you, Chuck Norris also gave his stamp of approval on the change, so I don't want to hear any lip about it.  :-)    

PB (Post Blog) - Derby hat procurement is coming along!  Went shopping today with my friend, Ann, to get a sense of style, size, color, etc.  Much more to blog about on the subject at a later date!

Fighting Tooth and Nail

A quick update on progress with #17 - Stop biting my nails.  I realize that I never really set a baseline of where I was starting from when I set this as a part of my list.  Let me clarify...

I've been biting and picking at my nails for as long as I can remember.  (It's a not-so-awesome habit I'm quite sure was learned by watching my dad who is also a chronic biter/picker.)  Growing up I always had short, jagged nails.  I recall once in fourth grade my mom was able to get me to stop for a period of time.  There was some form of a positive incentive involved (as would be typical for my mom's style of motivating others).  However, thinking back I cannot remember exactly how she motivated me to stop for that short time, only that she helped to reinforce my efforts by painting my nails often for me.    

Never since have I even attempted to stop biting or picking my nails.  I came to simply accept it as a part of my fidgety personality.  Throughout high school and college I would get my nails done with acrylics for special occasions like dances and formals, but it was never more than 2-3 weeks later when they had grown out and I had picked them off to return again to an even more jagged and weakened state.  

For the past four years or so I've been going regularly to Star Nail in South County to get acryilic nails put on, filled, and refilled every 2-3 weeks.  (Yes, I drive the 23 miles from the city because I've never found anyone who can do them so consistently well and fast as Tammy.)  I always ask that they be filed "very short" so as not to bother me as they grow out over the coming weeks.  Somewhat sad that nails just barely visible over my fingertips are fake, but that's been my reality for years now.  

With fake nails I haven't been able to pick my real nails to their former ragged status, but perhaps I deserve some creative credit for the ways I've found to mutilate them despite the acrylic barrier in the way.  Peeling and picking away my natural nail underneath the acrylic nail has been a regular activity.  Utilizing paperclips and mechanical pencils as tools, I have many times been guilty of fidgeting with my real nails (to the point of bleeding!) in meetings and work.  In fact, I happen to think I've developed a high tolerance for pain in my fingers simply due to all of the self-inflicted damage I've done to them over the years.

Biting has remained a problem too.  Many times I've become obsessed over "getting" that flagging piece of skin or cuticle around my nail bed.  I have regularly gnawed at my thumbs and fingers until only a nasty, bleeding mess remained.  If you'd like a visual of what I'm talking about, here's a picture from February of last year:  

So there - baseline set.  I'm a chronic nail picker and cuticle biter and have been for as long as I can remember.  What motivates me to pick and bite as I do?  To this day I haven't been able to figure it out entirely, but know that it's at least partly to do with nerves, boredom, anxious energy, and my fidgety tendencies.  Why did I put this on my Operation 30 list?  Because I was tired of having bloody nails and cuticles and viewed it as a good mental challenge to tackle.  

How am I doing so far?  Despite some procrastinated efforts in starting on this one, I'm making progress.  Seven out of ten of my formerly mutilated phalanges are looking beautiful.  The other three?  Honestly, not bad, but still showing signs of healing from a recent attack.  If you don't believe me, here's proof:

  

Like my new nail polish?  (I do!)  It's different for me, but I saw something similar in my Women's Health magazine this past month and decided to give it a try.  Something fun for the upcoming St. Pat's festivities, I suppose.  It's also part of my strategy to overly focus on how much I like my nails and don't want them to look like a bloody, jagged mess.  So far, so good, but I'm still trying to do some psycho-analysis on when I actually start to fidget.  It's become such a part of my subconscious that it's harder than I thought to catch myself in the act to trace back why I started in the first place.  Therefore if anyone sees me picking or biting my nails in person, you officially have permission to stop me using gentle but firm tactics (meaning flicking, not slapping).  

I'm also considering picking up pen twirling as a substitute outlet for my fidgety energy.  Apologies in advance for anyone I throw a pen at as I build my expertise.  :-)

Donkey Pride

Disclaimer - this blog post is about politics.  HOWEVER, I'm going to purposely avoid any background or passionate discourse about the stance I have on key issues or why I feel the way I do on certain matters.  I'm going to simply say that I feel strongly enough about the subject and my party of choice that I felt the need to make giving my time to it a part of my Operation 30 journey.  (For anyone who likes to engage in intelligent conversation on the subject, know that I'm almost always game provided the discussion goes beyond the typical rhetoric of the mainstream media.)  

Over the years I've given my financial support to the Democratic National Committee and the 2008 election inspired me to give specifically to our current President, but somehow the donations here and there seemed too easy to really feel like I was making a meaningful difference.  Although, I do enjoy the "Thank You's" I get from the President and Vice President themselves... ;-)

But seriously, when all I have to do is click on a link, fill in a few cells online and boom - I've "contributed", I feel a little lazy.  It's like buying a new coat online from Victoria's Secret...but without that new coat feeling you get from trying it on once it arrives.  (And who doesn't love that feeling?!)  So when I decided to put this one on my list over a year ago it obviously wasn't about putting my money where my mouth was, but putting my time (a very precious resource) where my money was.  And so I did...

#28.  Volunteer for the Democratic Party - check!

Even though I had only signed up the weekend prior to volunteer, I had mentally started much earlier.  In the same spirit of my "go big or go home" approach to most on my list, I had sought and found apparel that I thought would be fitting for my volunteer efforts:  a screened Obama bowling shirt and Democratic donkey and "VOTE" necklace (which I fashioned together through a couple of Etsy purchases).  I was ready to do my duty for the DNC.  

So apparel donned, I showed up to my area Obama Headquarters in downtown St. Louis at about 11:45am (characteristically late for the 11:30am start).  Once there I was guided to a sign-in sheet and then to John who gave me training on how to effectively call my list of names.  I have to admit, I would have much rather done just about anything than call random strangers to see if they'd be interested in helping at future support events, but I figured, 'Hey, if this is what the campaign needs to me to do, then I'm in.'  

And call I did with about eight or ten other volunteers.  In a little over two hours I called 77 people from my seven pages of names.  Disappointingly, many of the numbers on my list were disconnected.  Many were also either unanswered or unavailable.  That's why I was grateful when I was able to talk with Gregory from South City who committed to help at the upcoming Voter Registration on Saturday.  SUCCESS!  Sure, one out of 77 isn't a good percentage any way you slice it, but at least I had gotten someone else involved and who knows how many people he might get involved and how active he might end up being in the campaign ahead.   

Before I left I shared my DNC volunteer item on my Operation 30 list with Karen and James, the two leaders present at the phone bank.  They were both very supportive and excited, and James even gave me his personal Obama pin off his jacket.  (Yes, that's it in the picture.  Of course, I politely tried to decline, but he insisted.)  I also decided that my contribution to the DNC or President Obama's re-election campaign won't stop at calling 77 people.  I'm signed up to volunteer again in a couple of weeks.  :-)

Almost Normal

First, let me say that I debated whether to blog about this. While there have been other activities and events that have impacted my life in the time since I started this blog, I've tried to be selective in which were actually blog-worthy. Meaning (more or less) that I've chosen to stick to those activities which are directly related to checking an item off the list, rather than things that just happened to occur in the year before I turned 30. Hence, why I have not nor do I intend to publish any work or romance related activities here. Sure, they happen, but they're not really a part of my Operation 30 journey.

After some debate I've convinced myself to share this personal topic based on the fact that this one has most definitely had an impact on my journey as I come into the homestretch on my Operation 30 adventure. So here goes...

FACT: Today was the first day in 2012 that I've worked out.

FACT: Yesterday was the first day since January 3rd that I've seen my actual ankles.

FACT: In the last two months I've been to the doctors' office more times than in the past three years combined. I've had blood drawn five times, three urine tests, a liver ultrasound, echocardiogram and chest x-ray. There was a trip to the ER in there somewhere, but that was over a month ago...

For those who know me (and are not among the less than a handful who know my situation already), the above is likely a bit surprising. I'm not the type of person who goes for two consecutive days without working out if I can avoid it, so a two month hiatus is beyond abnormal. I'm also not the type to go to the doctor unless I absolutely have to (thinking stubbornly that I have the mental and physical strength to tough things out and "get over it" most of the time). And oh - if you knew my deep hatred for needles, you'd know how each time I knew more blood would be drawn I'd cringe and think about what I could distract myself with on my phone so I didn't look at the needle for fear of passing out.

So - what was the deal? Much of December I had been feeling run down and sluggish. It didn't really seem major, as holiday parties were in full swing and things were generally busy. I chalked it up to the holiday season and me being a bit out of my routine. Then the holidays actually hit and I felt a bit worse...chills and fever most nights and achy joints. I felt like I had aged ten years in two weeks! So when I noticed how swollen my ankles were after returning to work following the New Year, I knew I had to see my doctor.

What followed was the parade of tests described above to try to pinpoint potential causes of the swelling and nightly fevers. Meanwhile my pain was increasing daily. I learned that if I took two Ibuprofen as soon as I started feeling the chills coming on (about 3:30pm), that I could somewhat control my fever symptoms. It didn't quite keep me from feeling achy and weak each night, but it helped. Unfortunately, I couldn't control the swelling and would get to the point most days when walking became an issue and I was moving with pain at about half speed - literally. Stairs were my enemy. I spent every weekend and free moment I could with my legs elevated. This new "normal" was excruciating, as I hardly had the strength to do normal, daily activities like fixing dinner and changing into my pajamas.

Luckily, my doctor was able to rule out a bacterial infection in time for my trip to Costa Rica and prescribed steroids to help with the pain and swelling. (I had begged him to make me feel better or I'd have to cancel my trip.) Thank goodness for Prednisone. Unfortunately, my symptoms returned almost as soon as my prescription ran out.

Although my doctor had ruled out a series of potential causes for my symptoms, I still had no diagnosis of what was going on and no prognosis of how I was going to get any better. That was early February and not at all how I had hoped to start 2012 and come into the homestretch of my Operation 30 list. I mean, I barely had the energy to get brush my teeth before bed each night! It was time to go to the rheumatologist.

Enter Dr. Lauter. One visit to his office and he told me he thought he knew the cause of my symptoms and could make me feel better. Of course, more tests had to be run to confirm for sure, but I would have let them draw blood 20 times if it meant I'd know what was wrong with me. Fast forward to today and I have a diagnosis and a plan to hopefully get my body back to "normal" in the short to medium term. Hooray!

What was the mystery issue? Lupus. Drug-Induced Lupus, that is. Dr. Lauter found that the Minocycline I'd been taking for mild acne the past five years had actually triggered this response by my immune system. (I couldn't believe it. This whole issue was in a way self-induced?!) Apparently I'm one of the rare percentage of people who react this way over time when exposed to the drug. Despite my anger in reflecting on my true need to take Minocycline, I was happy to at least have a definitive answer on what was causing my symptoms and how I might eventually get to feeling better.

So what now? I've obviously stopped taking the Minocycline and am on steroids again which has helped significantly to address my aches and pains while my immune system adjusts back to normal. (I still get a chuckle out of saying that I'm on 'roids. I feel like a shamed baseball star.) The swelling has gradually gone down, which has blissfully reunited me with my ankles. I had forgotten what they looked like! (In fact, now they look so thin that I'm wondering how much they've atrophied from lack of exercise!)

Check out the before and after...

Mid-January (Ew!) compared with today

Early February vs Today

So the fact of the matter is that aside from my trip to Costa Rica, 2012 has officially sucked so far having to deal with Lupus. (And for anyone who has to deal with this autoimmune disease on a regular basis, I empathize with you as I know what I've experienced is only a fraction of what those who suffer from the systemic disease actually have to go through.) What's been the worst for me is being low on energy and not feeling like myself. My wardrobe has suffered too as I haven't been able to wear skirts or high heels for two months!

It's hard to say what normal actually is for me anymore, but I'm optimistic that I'm on my way to the light at the end of the tunnel. (Yet another reason I felt like sharing this story.) Working out for the first time today was my first step in establishing my new normal. I know I'll have to ease my body back into things and that just because I can see my ankles doesn't mean that things are altogether normal. But I'm hopeful. Hopeful that I can get back to feeling like myself again sometime in the near future. For now I'll settle for a hiatus from needles versus exercise and regularly admiring the way my ankles look when not significantly inflamed.

Almost there. Almost normal.

And just in time for the last two months!

Pura Vida

Where to start?! I can't believe that it was only about two and a half weeks ago that I was enjoying the sites and culture of the beautiful country of Costa Rica. Any chance that in the ten days I was gone someone has invented a time machine and I can go back? Anyone....? :-)

*Sigh. If not, then I suppose I can settle for sharing all of my wonderful experiences with my blog followers. I'm so glad that my work and ZTA schedule has finally settled down to allow me the time to get it documented with the proper attention in a blog post.

This trip was a huge one: first solo vacation and an opportunity to cross three items off my Operation 30 list, which I proudly did:

#2. Go kayaking - check!

#18. Go on a total immersion Spanish trip - check!

#22. Go zip-lining - check!

I could easily go into extended detail on the things I did during my trip, but for the purposes of keeping a leisurely blog read I'll do my best to be concise...

Day #1 - Thursday, January 26th. I spent most of the day traveling from St. Louis through Miami to Liberia airport in Costa Rica. From there it was a two hour cab ride to Samara Beach where my poor cab driver was victim to my first attempts to "immerse" myself in the Spanish language. I'm afraid what came out was a lot of Spanglish, but he was patient with my lapse in vocabulary and we had a pleasant conversation as he navigated what I believe was the single paved road between the airport and my hotel.

Day #2 - Having experienced the nightlife of the small town of Samara the night before (a la DJ Freak at Club Arriba), I was ready for the kayak tour I had arranged with my hotel the week before arriving. It took some finagling by the hotel to arrange a tour that would fit my schedule, particularly given the high tide that would delay an early start time, but it all worked out. At about 9am on my first day there I was on a kayak leaving from the mainland to a small island about an hour away. The weather was beautiful! Once we got to the island, we went snorkeling for about an hour before feeding pineapple to some of the resident iguanas and then kayaking back. The time spent face down in the water earned me a healthy sun burn on my back despite having applied sun block beforehand, but it was totally worth it for the overall experience of that first morning. It was awesome!

Kayaking in the Pacific Ocean!

Strict to my arranged schedule (and detailed TripIt itinerary), I was able to get back to my hotel, pack and get to the School of Interculture by 1pm to meet my tour group that would be going to Arenal Volcano and Monteverde that afternoon. My next five hours were spent in a van with various fellow students from the US, Quebec and Switzerland. We had good Spanish and English conversation on the way down (yes - I was finally starting to warm up and loosen my Spanish tongue), and enjoyed the scenery and natural hot springs at Baldi as we go into the La Fortuna area.

Lake Arenal and Volcano Arenal

Day #3 - I had another unexpected first, as we spent the morning at a river near La Fortuna that just happened to have a rope swing. The water wasn't extremely warm or deep, but it was nice enough that I was one of few in the group to take the plunge....not just once, but twice. So fun. :-) Later that day we were able to explore the town center of La Fortuna and take a scenic hike to view the Arenal Volcano. In a word, it was breathtaking. We were so lucky that the clouds were sparse that day and we were actually able to see the peak, as many are not as fortunate.

Rope Adventures

Day #4 - Sunday in Monteverde: the last day of my weekend excursion through the school. I was 1000% on board for the optional activity of zip lining, and had particularly chosen that excursion based on that possibility. I was not disappointed. The "Extremo Canopy" tour we went to had a variety of long and short jaunts. The longer ones were especially amazing, as the scenery was spectacular. The last 900m section we had the ability to fly like Superman and travel harnessed by our back and feet rather than our front or waist. I can't say I felt heroic, but the view and the ride was a-ma-zing.

Alas, on Sunday afternoon it was time to return from my weekend trip. However, rather than heading back to the beach I had arranged to spend the week ahead closer to downtown San Jose in the town of Heredia. If I wanted the total "immersion" experience, then I couldn't be distracted by the beach but chose instead to drown myself in the city environment. In hindsight- great decision. I loved Heredia!

Jannette (my Mama Tica) and me

Day #5-8: What a great experience. Sunday through Saturday I lived in Heredia with Jannette, my Mama Tica who cooked amazing meals for breakfast and dinner and provided a great living environment as she opened up her home to me. I spent each day at the school in classes from 8:30am-12:30pm. After a verbal interview on Monday morning, I was thankful to be placed in the first level advanced class, which made me confident that I had not forgotten all of the Spanish I had learned on my quest to a minor in college. My class was perfect, as it was focused on conversation which was exactly what I needed the most practice with. I had two fun classmates, Jane from Indiannapolis and Gaston from Montreal. Our teacher, Vanessa, did a great job making class interesting for us.

Each afternoon was spent doing something different...taking dance and cooking lessons, watching a spanish movie, taking private spanish lessons, drinking cervezas (mmm... Imperial y Budweiser), shopping, and even touring a local coffee plantation (or at least doing my homework there and taking tons of pictures). It's hard to describe the overall experience of a week immersed in the Costa Rican culture in Heredia, but I can say with certainty that I got a ton out of it and only wish that I had more vacation to burn and could have stayed longer.

Day #9: Graduation! I completed my class and officially graduated from the school. Hooray! I'm proud of my diploma and the symbol of what it means to me - taking a chance on something that was new and very unfamiliar to me that I wasn't sure I would be successful with, doing it solo, and surprising myself with just how well I adapted and how much I enjoyed the overall experience.

My school and diploma!

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that on my last night in Costa Rica I was able to take advantage of a rare occurrence in San Jose - an Elton John concert! When I found out through the school that he would be in town, I decided I had to do everything I could to go. Don't get my wrong, I'm not a huge Elton John fan and would likely never see him in the States, but the fact that he was in the same Central American country at the same time as me was a coincidence I knew I had to take full advantage of. Lucky (again) for me, Jannette's son David was game for the concert as well and willing to make an evening of it before he headed into work at the hospital that night. It was a great show and I'm glad I went. And if anyone would like the full 8 minute video I took of him performing Rocket Man, just say the word. :-)

Day #10 - Last day! I was able to work in yet another mini-excursion before my afternoon flight. This time it was a trip to the local Poas Volcano and Botos Lagoon near Heredia. It was a sort of a scenic walking tour and well worth the extra coordination to make it happen in the last hours of my trip.

Poas Volcano and Botos Lagoon

I would also be leaving out one of the best parts of my trips if I didn't at least mention how awesome the food was. Everything was so fresh - sweet, sweet fruit and nummy plantains. And the portions - huge! Each plate had hearty servings of arroz y frijoles (rice & beans), with flavorful bistec, pescada o pollo. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!

Breakfast in Samara - Dinner in Samara

Phew - what a trip! I'm not sure how successful I was in keeping this to an abbreviated version of my trip, but I really feel that this is only the highlights. I was able to do so much! Now to find a local intercambio for me to keep up my Spanish...

Whoa - getting close.

364 Days Strong

It's dawned on me that it has now been officially almost one year since I began my Operation 30 journey. I can hardly believe it! While I feel that I've packed a sufficient amount of memories in the past year, it's amazing how quickly it's gone by.

So I'll do what I do every time I pause for reflection, and look at the numbers...

• 18.75 - That's the number of items I've crossed off my list in the last 364 days.
• 5.25 - The portion of the remaining 11.25 items I have firmly planned to complete.
• 4 - The number of the other 6 "unplanned" activities that I'm confident I'll still be able to complete.
• 2 - My Everest challenges of the Operation 30 list, #17 and #20.

Overall, I'd say I'm happy with the progress I've made and extremely excited about the adventures yet to come. Hello Costa Rica, Europe tour, San Diego and Kentucky Derby! (Goodbye to most of my vacation for the year. :-/ Totally worth it though.)

Ah, but My Everest challenges. I feel truthful in saying that I'm making progress in my efforts to stop biting my nails, as I'm becoming more self-aware of the times when I'm doing it. Unfortunately, so far that hasn't translated into an ability to stop myself, but I'm hoping that inserting a strong dose of sheer stubbornness might be the trick I need once I feel the pressure of an approaching 30th birthday. I'm wondering just how long I need to make this one "official"...two months, maybe? Sure, let's go with that.

As for my goal of sitting on the board of an organization that I'm passionate about, I've given that one a lot of thought. I'm passionate about my sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha, which is why I give my time serving as a National Officer and I continue to get a great deal out of it. (In fact, I just attended our Region Wide Officer Training in Springfield, MO yesterday and am always inspired by the amazing leadership of the Zeta alumnae I'm surrounded with and the enthusiasm of the Zeta collegians.) I also feel strongly about supporting people with Multiple Sclerosis, which is why I give my time each year to raise money and ride in the MS150.

But when I set this as a goal on my Operation 30 list, I did it because I wanted balance and something else to give my time to that wasn't necessarily ZTA-related or part of something I did already. So I thought - what could I be passionate about? The answer then is the same as the answer now: sick (and/or less fortunate) kids. Which is why about a year ago I joined the Young Friends of Children's Hospital. Unfortunately, things didn't exactly pan out with a board position for me within that organization, so I'm now back to square one. Not sure how I'm going to finagle this one, but if any of my blogosphere followers have connections to organizations that might fit, please let me know! I'll be making this a priority for February. :-)

364 days strong, 106 to go!

Ready to Cram

Just a quick post tonight to share some thoughts about how excited I am to go to Costa Rica! In a few short weeks I'll be on Samara Beach enjoying kayaking in the Pacific Ocean, then traveling to Monte Verde and the cloud forest for a zip lining adventure, and finally ending my journey with a week of total immersion of the Spanish language in a classroom in Heredia. (I'll be staying with a Costa Rican family!) Those are only the highlights of the adventure I have planned, and I absolutely cannot wait.

Of course, such a situation requires some preparation, and I've taken my traditional procrastinator approach with this one. Although I've known for over a month that I'd be going so soon, I'm only now starting to think about brushing up on my Spanish - yikes! Regardless, I'm hopeful that with the right guided audio program (and possibly software) that I'll pick up where I left off after seven years of studying and a Minor in college. Here's to the coming weeks of Spanish preparation for my Spanish Immersion trip! Me desean suerte! :-)

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